Yapper

Day 51 - I've Moved...

2006-09-25T09:27:00.000-05:00

Day 41 - One Eighty Seven

2006-09-14T08:21:00.000-05:00

After another 10 days of implementing the plan, I’ve lost another 5 pounds. That’s 12 pounds overall after 40 days. From all the people I’ve talked to, it still seems like it’s a healthy clip, hopefully not overly aggressive, I highly doubt it. 187??? I had to weigh-in three times just to make sure.

Now it’s time to find out what 12lbs really equates to. I take out my trusty medium size porcelain serving dish, it makes a nice base. This time, I go for the gusto and pile my blender on top of it, the entire unit, cap and all. 11lbs on the head. Needing one more pound I grab my daughters piggy bank (she really needs to save more). 12 pounds on the head. I lift the serving dish, blender, and piggy bank up a few times....yeah, that feels good. What a boat anchor, I can’t believe I was walking around with a serving dish, a blender, and a piggy bank inside of me just 40 days ago.

People ask me why I thought I’ve lost weight on this plan, what is the real reason I think I’ve been able to lose weight. The answer is two-fold, but simple. First, by living in a heightened state of awareness, and living consciously, I didn’t eat as much as I had been previously. No more cleaning the kids plates off when they were done eating, trying everything on the party buffet, or going back for seconds and thirds despite my full gullet. My body didn’t need it, and shortly after I made those decisions (based upon how pathetic my daily logs read), my body certainly didn’t crave it. When I was full, I was content. I was hungry a small number of times during the first 30 days, and when I was hungry, I ate, but certainly not as much because it wasn’t required. I tried to avoid stuffing myself because it physically hurt after a while. Secondly, I made my body move, day after day. Even though it was small and inconsequential to people that work out, it was much more movement than I had been doing before. That had to account for at least something. Pretty straightforward.

The last ten days have been as easy as the first thirty. Writing everything I eat and do, and reviewing it out loud daily. The discipline has stuck with me thus far, which is the bigger win. And as a result, the pounds drop off. I’ve incrementally added a few more pushups and sit-ups to the routine, now somewhere between 45 and 50 of each. Now that school has started back up again, we’re on a better schedule. In reviewing the logs over the last ten days, I’ve noticed a reduction in the amount of imbibing, only five of the ten days, and perhaps only two days in excess. This was a missing piece during the first 30 days, and I’ve tried to work on that. It’s much easier to be a hermit and be non-social when the kids need to be in bed by eight.

An odd thing happened on Day 9 of this recent ten day sprint. I woke up and couldn’t lift my left arm because my shoulder was in pain. I don’t know if it’s because I slept on it funny or what the deal was. It hurt pretty badly for two days in a row. I even had to take Ibuprofen for the first time on this plan. Contrast that with those other “get in shape” attempts from long ago when I was surely on Ibuprofen after the first week! Since this is the first time I’ve ever felt sore since I began, I was concerned. Could it be a long lasting nagging thing like tendonitis? What about my pushups? Uncertain, but I’m surely not going to a Doctor. The last time I went to a Doctor for some significant physical problem like this was when I hurt my back. Doctors prescribe medicine and make you go away. In short, Doctors are like weathermen, they don’t always know what the hell they are talking about. In fact, I don’t know why I am capitalizing Doctor...it’s doctor...there you have it, mere mortals. But since they are paid to know, they diagnose. Right or wrong. Then you come back, give them some more data on how you feel, and then they diagnose again. If this sounds like they are practicing on you, they are. That’s why they call it a “practice” after all. I forget where I heard that originally, but it’s held up very true. I’ll wait it out for a few days and do my own diagnosis.

For now, I’ve had to stop the pushups, and find another activity in it’s place. But what. I still walk dogs occasionally, but the last few days have been cold and rainy. Now the pressure is on. Wait, I still have that NordicTrack in the basement. You know those things, the archaic torture device looking wood things with ski’s and ropes and pulleys. When done right it looks like you’re cross country skiing. The reason I had it anyway was because of my back. The chiropractor I was seeing for my back (after several medical doctors failed me, my first foray into non traditional approaches), said that the NordicTrack devices were good because it helped support your back. So, I bought a used one. That’s the ticket. I unearthed it, dusted it off, and brought it up to the bedroom, much to my wife’s dismay. Ah yes, back in the saddle. Although feeling quite silly in the bedroom doing this thing (but not as lame as that pony tailed freak on those infomercials, what’s with that guy?), it certainly does work pretty well. I set it to it’s easiest resistance, and started to glide. It’s easy on my back, and I manage 25 minutes my first attempt. Piece of cake. Although I notice some sweating going on, but no muscle strain or soreness in the shoulder, legs, or back. There you have it, a new activity I can throw into the mix. Probably good I found something else as fall and winter approaches.

Next up is another 10 day sprint, which at the conclusion will be 51 consecutive days on this super simple, non painful, effective plan. We shall see if I taper off or continue to shed. Until then.

10 Things I Just Learned About From Walking Dogs

2006-09-08T11:42:00.000-05:00

I recently started walking some neighbor dogs as a way to help them out and keep me company on my walks. Here's some things I've learned recently in doing so.

Dog's don't like truck airbrakes.
If it's windy outside, bugs can bounce hard off of your body and face.
Always double bag your companions #2 deposits.
If your companion goes #2 in a more remote area, you can get away with faking the plastic bag pickup.
People hang onto old stuff way too long, before they are willing to throw it away.
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw away.
Someone should come up with a better mechanism for setting up a sprinkler.
If you're 39, you can get sore by just walking.
You're not the only one that walks dogs on the same path you're on, so you should watch where you're walking.
If you're over 50 years old, and are doing yardwork in short shorts, bending over isn't your best look.

Lakewood High Velocity 4" Fan

2006-09-06T14:01:00.000-05:00

Everytime I come into work I'm sweating because it's so humid and dank in the somewhat renovated factory where I work. So a friend of mine bought me this fan. While it's somewhat quiet and does in fact move air, the design stinks.

It's all metal construction. So if it's been running awhile, and you want to turn it off, you'll notice that the back is hot, where the motor is mounted. In addition it only has one speed. So when you're tired of it blowing at a high velocity, your only option is "off." But now I'm hot again, so "on." But now I'm sick of it, so "off." On/Off, On/Off, On/Off, On/Off!!!

Also, the gaps in the fan grate are big enough for the youngins' to stick their fingers through. While I don't have any youngin's running around the work office, I certainly do at the home office. So if you're looking for a cheap fan that moves air, I recommend looking for a more expensive fan that moves air.

Day 31 - One Ninety Two

2006-09-05T08:47:00.000-05:00

192! Lost 7lbs thus far, and I’ll take it. The night before I kept dreaming of the weigh-in. Each time I stepped on the scale in my dream I was always exactly the same weight or even above 200lbs!! Eeks, I guess I was more concerned about it subconsciously than I thought. Perhaps it was because of the added pressure of doing this publicly.

Is it the 10-15 I was suspecting? No, but if you consider what I did during the 30 days (almost nothing), it’s pretty encouraging. Also, there were several parties and all day gatherings with a week long vacation thrown in there. I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t so social during this period, I’d be better off. Regardless, it is what it is, and it’s not the big point anyway. It’s a point in time that gives me an indication if this plan really works or not, and it does! It’s a step in the right direction. A data point on a long term trend.

Does it sound magical to say 7lbs in 30 days? No, but we all know that magic diet and exercise plans don’t work. How many people do you know that yo-yo back and forth, bouncing from magic pills to carb diets, never really getting anywhere, except anxious and discouraged? With diet and exercise, slow and steady wins the race. Long lasting self-discipline is better than doing things in spurts that ultimately don’t stick. I proved out that you don’t have to be an expert dietician or an exercise guru to accomplish some weight loss. I had only some common sense and advice from others on my side. That’s all anyone should really need.

I did something for 30 days straight! This is a discipline that I’ve never had before. If you followed along, congratulate yourself. To put your accomplishment into perspective, take the amount of pounds that you lost, and find something that weighs the exact same amount. It can be a collection of items. Now pick it up a few times. Heavier than you thought eh? Gone! My 7lbs was equivalent to a medium size porcelain serving dish, a D size battery, a porcelain coffee mug full with coffee, and a container of sidewalk chalk. It disappeared because of my mind. I lived consciously for 30 days, more consciously than I ever have.

Will the discipline stick? Will I continue? The reason I chose 30 days, is because many studies suggest a period of longer than 20 days is required for change to become habit forming. Committing to a daily activity without a day off is more likely to become a habit than a plan that offers a few days off a week. The days of rest and relaxation hurt the conditioning of the mind that is necessary to pull you through the tough days. It’s easy to give yourself a day off, like the day before, when you’re not really “in” to it. Then you try to play games with make up days. “I’ll just double up on the weekends” you say to yourself. Then the plan starts to crumble. When I woke up today, without even thinking about it, I pondered doing my activities before my shower, or at some point later in the day. Then I realized what had just happened, pretty cool, maybe my mind is conditioned. The first page of my new notebook for my daily logs which has “Day 1 – 192!” on top of the page might be a clue.

Am I healthier? One could argue. I doubt it when you consider all the imbibing that occurred. But because I monitored everything, I now have full awareness. The last several days, I made a conscious attempt to limit the harmful liquid intake because of my awareness, and I’ll continue to do so. This plan wasn’t about quitting drinking after all but I’ll start making small incremental improvement on a daily basis. I have enough problems as it is, I don’t need another more damaging one.

However, I’ve heard from three people now that losing weight slowly over a long period of time is more healthy for you than rapid weight loss. This must be why everyone that I know who was on the Atkins Plan, has bounced back to their start weight or worse. I think they all hit their floor weight right around the time that Dr. Atkins died. Maybe a carb or two isn’t that bad after all eh? Breadcrumbs anyone?

Let’s consider how easy this plan really is. Writing everything down in a notepad, what you eat and what you do, and reviewing it out loud daily. Your mind takes over, and suddenly you’re making better choices. You have full awareness and are living consciously. You commit to 30 days, and as each day passes you are less likely to give up, despite the tough days. In my first attempt, I had to stop after 11 days. I was too hard on my body, and I had muscle soreness, but I kept trying to bull through it until my doctor told me to stop and rest. Of course, I did happen to be sick at the time as well. Regardless, I was disappointed and felt like I failed. How pathetic am I that I can’t do something for 30 days in a row? No big deal, just pick up and do it again. I didn’t want that to happen on this attempt, so no strenuous exercises, just small activities that take no time at all. When you consider how simple this plan is, the results are encouraging.

No need to continue with the daily blog entries, but I’ll continue to write and weigh myself in different increments. Maybe every 5, 10, or 15 days. I think I’ll give my daily logs to my doctor or a dietician and ask for some feedback. 30 days of hard truthful data is better than my answer to a question in a small stale room about my diet and how I feel. Although, I understand dieticians are pretty anal about counting calories, salt, fiber, and other garbage. They are trained to think that way, but I’m not interested in reading labels, life should be more simple and common sensicle than that. Plus they have a tendency to tell you what you should eat and how much (6 glasses of water a day, 2 pieces of fruit, a serving of a green vegetable). Give me a break! Only the most anal non fun people in the world could do that. I need more flexibility than that. When you consider what I accomplished with what I did, I’ve proven that out. Exercise experts tell you that you need to sweat and get your heart rate at certain levels to lose weight. Well apparently not. I only remember sweating one day cutting the neighbors lawn, and I certainly didn’t measure any heart rates or count how many minutes I was aerobic. Way too anal for me, and apparently, completely unnecessary. As my activities change and grow in duration, I’ll continue with the simple and easiest form of monitoring. Why bother with anything else? I’m not training for a marathon, spending money on gadgets that measure crap is a waste of money for me. Maybe I should call this, “Your Grandma’s Diet.” She didn’t have any tools like that either. My Grandma lived to almost 90, she was Italian. A day didn’t pass without carbs. Interesting.

And so, this wraps up the big 30 day experiment. 30 days of small, daily, incremental improvement and conscious living, resulting in weight loss, and arguably a healthier state. The other metrics, lasting self-discipline, additional weight loss, and the ability to keep it off will determine how successful this can be in the long run. For now, it’s working and I’m heading in the right direction. You don’t have to be an expert to lose weight, in fact you don’t have to really know anything about diet and exercise. No counting calories, reading labels, listening to Oprah, or avoiding noodles. Everyone already has all of the skills and tools they need. Wrap it up in this easy 5 step system that incorporates your mind, and you’re gold. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Day 28-30 - A Limp To The Finish

2006-09-04T09:03:00.000-05:00

All day parties with plenty of food and drink available each day. A whirlwind few days over the Labor Day Weekend. Starting with a big day/night out with some old friends and their new pool, then an all day/night fantasy football draft party, and finishing with a big group outing to a Major League Baseball game followed by an after game party, I limp in to the finish line. Not exactly the way you’d like to go out, but as I’ve discussed with several people, there really isn’t a good time to do this. In fact, if I can lose weight during this period, then I’ve proven that anyone can do this at any point in time. More importantly of course, is what happens next.

After a big meal on the evening of Day 28, I feel pretty bloated. I probably stepped on the gas a bit too much, but the food at the restaurant was really good. It reminded me of a plate of food that you’d serve at home. Lot’s of food, large portions. It seemed to have a Mediterranean theme to the place, and we had flaming cheese as a starter. The process nearly singed the hair off of the waitron, but it was definitely tasty. Oh, and by the way, no comments from the old friends about my outward appearance changing. In conclusion, comments of that kind, were good natured supportive lies.

Day 29, another all day party left me scrambling to get my activities done. However, since they take no time at all, I sneak them in between getting home from our visit with our friends and the start of the party. Another advantage of doing something, anything small as an activity daily. As long as something gets done daily, you’re good. Developing a new discipline is the outcome.

With little sleep, Day 30 comes in a hurry. A quick shower and we’re back in party mode. Tailgating for a couple hours in advance of the game, another large spread of food, and then sitting on your butt for a few hours. I resist several small items because I don’t want to take the time to write them down. I get a comment about how disciplined I was for resisting some peanuts. It’s not that it takes all kinds of inner strength to turn down a nut, and the nut certainly isn’t going to make a big difference in the big picture, but what’s the point? I certainly wasn’t craving nuts, or even hungry at that point. And, I’d have to write it down. So the lack of need for a nut, and the slightly backwards motivation to document it, is why it didn’t enter the mouth. What can one nut lead to anyway? Another nut, perhaps a handful, then a half of a bag? Then I’m ready for some nachos or a soft pretzel. Why go down that trail? I’m content as is.

Tomorrow is the weigh-in. Day 30 in the books, and time to get a snapshot of one of the metrics to determine how successful this new plan really is. The other metrics, lasting self-discipline, additional weight loss, and the ability to keep it off, will of course have to wait. The 30 day weigh-in just the first glimpse at the results of the plan. The marathon three day food and booze fest tale of the tape follows:

Day 28

199!
a pot of coffee
5 glasses of water
2 big spoonfuls of cheesy potatoes
1 fried egg (on top of the potatoes)
½ brat
1 banana
1 salami sandwich
12 chips and guacamole
3 large Malibu rum cocktails (poolside)
1 Corona beer (w/ lime)
5 red wines
2 slices of bread with humus
2 pieces of flaming cheese
1 filet of grilled halibut
1 bowl of corn chowder
4 olives
3 bites of cooked spinach
2 spoonfuls of mashed potatoes
1 taste chocolate mousse

40 pushups
40 sit-ups
a light swim

Day 29

199!
4 cups of coffee
2 glasses of water
½ banana chocolate chip muffin
5 ritz crackers
several handfuls of sunflower seeds
5 tapped Lite beers
1 cocktail
2 full plates of crawfish etouffee served over dirty rice
1 brat
2 pickles
2 Paulaner Oktoberfest beer

35 pushups
25 sit-ups

Day 30

199!
3 cups of coffee
3 glasses of water
2 Paulaner Oktoberfest beer
2 slices of a Subway party sub
1 Pilsner Urquell
2 Lite beers
2 Kettle One and tonics
12 bbq potato chips
3 Guinness beers
1 moon pie desert
1 brat
1 handful of sunflower seeds

40 pushups
40 sit-ups

Day 27 - Now We Go

2006-09-01T09:15:00.000-05:00

Easy day eating wise and activity wise. Not hungry or sore, what's better than that? Got back on the booze train a bit because of a weekly card game. Starting to see the finish line. This plan is like second nature now. My notepad is like the wart on my right arm, it really doesn’t go anywhere without the rest of me. It’s dug in “real deep like.” Getting pretty anxious for the weigh-in. It has crossed my mind to quick check my weight, but had to remind myself that the weight thing is just an artifact of a tight plan. As Arnold Palmer once said, “luck is residue of skill” (at least I think it was the King). If I can’t do something simple like not weigh myself for 30 days straight, that shows how truly pathetic I am. Not doing something should be easy, as engrained during the days of the Fat and Happy Plan.

Going to see some old friends that we haven’t seen in a long time, tomorrow. Another great test for the true “looks like you’re getting in shape a bit” or “looks like you’ve lost some weight.” Another chance to show how full of crap the people were that had been saying those things when I was on Day 15 or whatever it was. They’ve put in a pool and are really anxious for us to see it and try it out, I’m sure it’s awesome.

What’s the deal with pools and water that make people take most of their clothes off anyway? People spend millions trying to figure out what to wear, what makes them look best, what makes them look less pathetic, chubby, round, fat, etc. Then they get around water and it all comes off. They say, “Look at me! I’m fat and out of shape! See my rolls and folds! What do you think is hiding in here?” What can they be thinking? Why are the rules different around water? I’m always amazed, despite my fat and happy figure, at how great and secure I can feel around a pool or water. There’s always someone more pathetic than me. In fact, there’s probably a rule brewing here. If you can’t find the most pathetic person around a pool or water, chances are it’s you.

Day 27

199!
4 cups of coffee
5 glasses of water
1 hard boiled egg
1 slice of wheat toast with butter and peanut butter
1 serving of leftover noodles with red sauce and grated romano cheese
2 slices of sausage pizza
3 Oktoberfest beers
1 Miller Lite beer
7 handfuls of sunflower seeds

35 pushups
35 sit-ups

Day 26 - Stop Wining

2006-08-31T09:03:00.000-05:00

I ate out twice today. Mexican for lunch and Italian for dinner. Don’t know why, didn’t have any plans to do that, but it doesn’t matter. The friend I ate with for lunch suggested that all we ate was a big plate of sodium. He has a dietician who told him that he takes in too much salt, and to compensate he needs to drink a small inland lake every day. Perhaps that’s why I downed 9 glasses of water today. I was dried up like an old fart. Couldn’t get enough.

The tough part today was that I refused to drink any alcohol. Living consciously has made me aware of my excess, and most of the time it’s just not required, with the exception of vacation and parties. But sitting in an Italian restaurant, ordering and eating all that big food requires some good red wine. This is how I grew up. It’s reminiscent of all those holidays and parties we had at my Grandparents house. Nothing would taste better in that environment than a good deep red velvety wine. Nope, I resist. I’ve got more social, big party days coming up this weekend. Need to give the liver a break. It wasn’t easy either with my wife sitting there sipping on her Pinot Noir, “oh my gosh is this good, you should get one, wanna sip, just a try it, it’s really good...just a sip?” I then had to clue her into my conscious. Turns out communication and relationships work better that way. She’s not living consciously yet, so I forgive her.

Day 26

199!
3 cups of coffee
9 glasses of water
2 pork and onion enchiladas
rice and beans
several chips and salsa
1 cup of Italian wedding soup
3 pieces of Italian bread dipped in extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar
1 serving of eggplant parmesan
½ serving of noodles and red sauce

35 pushups
35 sit-ups

Day 25 - Groundhog Day

2006-08-30T12:12:00.000-05:00

Not unlike Day 23, after a long day of partying, very tired, uninspired, and unmotivated. The only thing keeping me going is that it’s Day 25. The weigh-in is right around the corner. Not hungry today either, most likely from the extra consumption from the day prior.

Nothing much else to report. A lazy day that didn’t see my activities begin until much late in the day. Since I stepped up the number of pushups and sit-ups I’ve been doing on Day 22, I’ve started to feel fatigued. Not sore, just fatigued, like I can barely get them done. So, on groundhog day, I lax that requirement. This plan shouldn’t be too strenuous.

Day 25

199!
1 bowl of cornflakes with milk
4 cups of coffee
5 glasses of water
1 Quizno’s regular beef brisket sub on wheat
1 plate of mashed potatoes and cream tuna fish
1 dinner salad

25 pushups
20 sit-ups

Day 24 - Ugh

2006-08-29T10:24:00.000-05:00

Golfed 27 holes today, starting at 9:30a.m. We were rained on most of the day. I’m thinking I drink too much. Another long marathon day full of booze. That can’t be good. Although I did wake up early to get in my activities, that’s never happened before. But, the habits from the days of living fat and happy seem to keep creeping in. Change is slow, but I’m sticking to the plan. Small incremental improvement towards a larger goal is the key.

I carry my notepad with me in my golf bag. If this plan can work through all of my extraneous activities, then it can work for anyone. There is never a perfect time to start, there’s always something that is in the way. Just bull through, do all the steps every day, and it will happen. You have a better chance at getting results from taking action, no matter how small. Nobody ever got anywhere by doing nothing, except maybe fat and happy.

Day 24

199!
a bowl of corn flakes with milk
4 cups of coffee
3 glasses of water
1000mg Vitamin C
6 Heineken beers
5 cocktails
2 glasses of wine
a brat with potato chips
1 queen filet mignon (cooked to perfection. mmph!)
vegetable medley (beans, carrots, red peppers)
garlic mashed potatoes
brownie covered in fudge sauce
scoop of ice cream covered in fudge sauce

35 pushups
30 sit-ups

Day 23 - Recover

2006-08-28T07:10:00.000-05:00

Being quite tired and groggy all day made it difficult to get the activities in, but am feeling good that I did something. Incidentally, ever since I moved away from 25 pushups and sit-ups, I’ve been breaking them down into repetitions. So the first set will be 20, then the next set will be 15. The weightlifting days in high school are coming back to me now. I don’t want to get too hung up here, it still only takes me minutes to complete and that’s all I should need right now anyway.

Tomorrow, a big golf outing. Usually, hard to stay away from beverages and tomorrow won’t be an exception. But, I’ve made it through a week long vacation and several parties on this plan, so one more day of fun isn’t going to detract me. Plus, this plan is so easy anyway, there’s really nothing for me to fret about. Day 23 and counting the days ‘til the finish line.

Day 23

199!

2 cups of coffee
5 glasses of water
½ piece of toast with butter
1000mg Vitamin C
1 large bowl of fruit salad
2 pieces of pepperoni pizza
2 swiss cheese cubes (store sample)
1 mozzarella and prosciutto slice (store sample)
1 bowl of cheesy potatoes with a fried egg on top
1 sour bom-pop
1 roast beef sandwich
3 handfuls of sunflower seeds

35 pushups
30 sit-ups

Day 22 - Deal Madness

2006-08-27T10:11:00.000-05:00

Throwing a party for your kids birthday can be maddening. Everyone asking you where the soda is, where the cups are, what they can do with a half eaten plate of cake and melted ice cream, setting up the play station for all of the boys with A.D.D., getting another busy box ready when they tire of that, asking if it’s ok to go upstairs and play hide and seek, kiddies traipsing mud through the house... it can get frantic at times. In addition, all the food and drink is hard to pass up. But, I have brats to cook, people to feed. This ends up being more of a drink day than a food day. It all starts and ends in a flurry.

A bunch of family you haven’t seen in a while is a good test to see if you look any different than the last party. Given the couple of comments I’ve been getting around town about how I look different, I use this as the real test. Family is good at telling you the truth, if you look fat, old, gray whatever. I have cousins that are extremely good at telling you all the bad stuff. Every time we see them, someone tells us we look husky, bigger, different, older, or just plain fat.

All day, no comments from the family. I even explain the plan I’m on, tell them I’m on Day 22....nothing. So, to all you liars that said I look like I’m losing weight....you’re full of crap. In the end it’s not at the heart of the plan anyway. At the core of this program is the self-discipline that I need. Whether or not self-discipline is a learned behavior is in question. Despite the poundage, self-discipline will eventually win out over no self control. The mass loss is the result of the process of continual, daily, incremental improvement. I do believe it will work, however. In fact, I’m almost there. Oh, and before you check my into Betty Ford, this was a 12 hour process. Or is that denial? During my review last night, it was fairly apparent that I was over served. But that’s another 30 day plan not invented yet. Day 22, party day, below:

Day 22

199!
3 cups of coffee
9 glasses of water
1 ham sandwich on a kaiser roll
4 red wines
1 sip of a very dirty martini
1 brat with onions
1 serving of cheesy potatoes
1 serving of caesar salad
4 Oktoberfest beers
3 brandy rocks
1 beef sandwich on a kaiser roll

35 pushups
30 sit-ups

Day 21 - Older Bitches Rule

2006-08-26T09:48:00.000-05:00

I test drove Bailey today. Man, what a difference. The old girl knows how to walk. By my side the entire time. A foot or more of slack in the leash. Never getting hung up in my steps. If she were the slightest bit ahead of me, the most gentle tug on the leash would rein her back in. No crapping, no smelling, no eating poop, bugs, grasshoppers, dried up worms on the sidewalk. It was like the first time I drove in a Cadillac as a kid. I knew I was in something special, the suspension made you feel like you were floating down the road. No hard bumps, no worries. Just smooth sailing. She had a lot in the tank, she could easily go longer than the two mile track. She could of easily outpaced me, but had a controlled regal trot. What a great walking dog. Apparently, there is something to this dog training thing after all.

I’m not going to rip on Vern too much. He still is less than two years old, and he just got his sack cut off. He’s just not much of a walker is all. I’ll swap days between Vern and Bailey now. I’ll use Vern on my light days, and Bailey when I want to stretch it out. Vern was looking at me funny today as I walked past him with Bailey. “Why you cheatin’ on me like that?” I’ll talk with him later.

Not a huge food day. Just wasn’t hungry all day, so I didn’t eat much. Nothing else to it. Could be a case of the snickerdoodle the night before, who knows? Then the party started. Later in the day I was at a great party, lots of wine, tons of good heavy food, lasagna, stuffed shells, chicken, garlic bread, antipasto salads. Time to put the feed bag on. Since I wasn’t interested in my usual grazing ritual, I saved myself for the main meal. No heavy stomach feeling or any discomfort afterwards. Maybe I’m figuring this out.

Update from the Poop Lady, the one who fed me poop tea. She was surprised to learn that the poop tea caused me so much discomfort. She thinks she may have steered me wrong. She told me to steep the tea bag for at least ten minutes to get a better effect. However, the instructions on the package state that you should really ease into it, starting with three minutes, then moving up to five minutes etc. Perhaps another trial run with poop tea is in order, steeping it for only three minutes. We shall see.

Day 21

199!
2 cups of coffee
4 glasses of water
1 glass of milk
1000mg of Vitamin C
2 pieces of sour apple Trident gum
1 cube of extra sharp cheddar (store sampler, tee hee)
1 slice of Monterey jack cheese (tee hee)
1 brat with onions and mustard
1 Molson Canadian beer
4 ½ glasses of red wine
1 whiskey manhattan
1 piece and 1 bite of garlic bread
2 stuffed shells (smothered in red sauce and grated cheese)
1 serving of antipasto salad
1 square of lasagna (smothered in red sauce and grated cheese)

25 pushups
25 sit-ups
2 mile walk with Bailey

Day 20 - Jumping Rope Is Not Child's Play

2006-08-25T10:55:00.000-05:00

So my wife told me a few days ago that jumping rope is really good for you. She was wrong. I felt completely horrible afterwards. It only lasted a few minutes. Since Day 20 brought rain and thunderstorms and I can’t test out my new walking dog, I decided to jump rope. Sounded simple enough, but I would definitely consult a doctor before trying this yourself. Unless of course, you start really small, like 10 times. Just like the pushups and sit-ups I’ve been doing. I didn’t start with 25 each, nor should I have when you consider how pathetically out of shape I was. A slow incremental build with what your body feels comfortable with. Doing small activities daily until your body tells you to take the next step. Well, I didn’t listen to my own advice with the jump rope. I’m still breathing heavy just thinking about it.

After a light McDonald’s snack, I’ve got a stomach ache. While it tasted good it left me feeling full and icky. I can’t overstate how full I feel after the seemingly small intake, it’s amazing to me. I had a few other chances to stuff my pie hole with other items, but I resisted. Mostly, because my notepad wasn’t handy and I’d have to remember everything. Secondly, because I wasn’t hungry anyway. When I’m hungry I eat, but now it’s not as much as I used to eat.

Day 20

199!
4 cups of coffee
1 Altoid
4 chicken McNuggets w/ bbq sauce
10 french fries (of varying length) w/ bbq sauce
5 glasses of water
1 slice of cantaloupe
1 bunch of grapes
1000mg Vitamin C
1 granny smith apple
2 handfuls of pretzels with horseradish mustard for dipping
1 Schlitz beer
½ homemade egg mcmuffin (yum yum)
1 plate of buttered noodles
2 gin and tonics
1 snickerdoodle*

25 pushups
25 sit-ups
jumped rope 100 times (4 reps x 25 or so)
played 500 in the street

* apparently some German creation. A buttery cookie with cinnamon sprinkled on the top. Very tasty, which is surprising for German fodder. Usually German food has a dumb name and no flavor, this just has the dumb name. Nobody could help me with the spelling.

Day 19 - Resist The Weigh-In

2006-08-24T09:34:00.000-05:00

I was able to get Vern back on the program and we did our original short track of 2 miles. He only laid down once, and attempted to lay down one other time before I stopped him. I instructed his owners that they may want to take him in and get his heart checked out. Makes me wonder if they have a doggy EKG machine. In addition, I’ve recruited another older medium size dog from across the street. Her name is Bailey. They tell me she doesn’t crap or tinkle on the walk, only before and after, and just sticks by your side. She’s not all over the place smelling every mail box post and getting tangled up around every small tree. I think I need to put Vern back on the shelf every once and a while. Looking forward to testing her out.

A meager eating day, but I wasn’t bloated at all, and when I felt hungry, I ate something, albeit nothing special. Fairly simple. One more mention from someone today saying, “it looks like you might be losing weight, and I ain’t checkin’ you out dude.” So, I’ve had the urge to weigh myself based on those comments. Could it be true? Am I really dropping some weight here, how much? 2lbs, 5lbs, 10lbs? It’s simple to find out, nobody would have to know. NOPE! That’s not the plan, so I resist it. The plan is about learning self-discipline and control, living consciously, and as a result feeling healthier and losing weight. Without the former, you certainly don’t get the latter. So, focusing on the former, here’s Day 19. Fairly close to the big 10 day countdown.

Day 19

199!
¾ pot of coffee
1 slice of wheat toast with butter and peanut butter
2 sausage links
1 scoop of hash browns with American cheese
5 glasses of water
1000mg of Vitamin C
4 bites of a pear (too mealy, yuck)
2 handfuls of mini twist pretzels
2 gin and tonics with a lime
1 turkey on wheat with cheese and mayo

25 pushups
25 sit-ups
2 mile walk with Vern

Day 18 - Where's the Wagon?

2006-08-23T15:20:00.000-05:00

A couple things worth noting today. First of all, no alcohol. In the words of Forest Gump, ...”that’s all I have to say ‘bout dat.”

Secondly, after my Rueben sandwich lunch and my somewhat meager dinner, I had tremendous gut ache, an ate too much Thanksgiving meal feeling. I don’t know why exactly but another friend reminded me of the stomach shrinkage phenomenon. There either is something to that, or something else is going on deep inside.

An the activity side of things, a word to the wise, don’t get ahead of yourself. By now you should be feeling pretty confident that you can see this plan through to the end. No big deal there right? After all, it’s all downhill from here. But, don’t get overconfident. Playing football in the street sounds easy and simple enough, however, it’s easy to get caught up in how you performed when you were younger. Don’t do that. One quick sprint downfield to catch a ball and afterwards I was immediately out of breath gasping for air, and then started sweating. After that, I took it slower, didn’t really exert myself as hard and life was good. Since I started sweating, I certainly can count it as an activity. It was about 20 minutes worth. Just remember that you are pathetic with no self-discipline like me. You’ve been living Fat and Happy for a long time, and it’s going to take longer to get back to the days of old, in fact you may never get there, simply because you’re aging as well. If you’ve been following the plan, you’re less pathetic than you once were, but it’s not over yet. Take it slow. Then your groin won’t hurt like mine.

Day 18

199!
4 cups of coffee
7 glasses of water
21 cherries
1 piece of wheat toast with butter and peanut butter (yum yum)
1 large Rueben with horseradish
1 side of coleslaw
2 slices of pickle
6 Altoids
2 pieces of Trident apple fusion gum
1 roasted chicken breast (smothered in gravy)
1 serving of green beans (smothered in gravy)
1 serving of mashed potatoes (smothered in gravy)
4 handfuls of sunflower seeds
1 large glass of orange juice

25 pushups
25 sit-ups
played football in the street

Day 17 - Hitting Stride

2006-08-22T09:51:00.000-05:00

I finally wake up without feeling bloated. I hear from more than one person reading this that I don’t eat much. I know I was eating more in the first couple of days, it was pretty pathetic. That coupled with all of the “empty calories,” could be why I was so fat and happy. Even though I’ve dialed my solid consumption back a touch, I still don’t feel hungry. I’ve heard your metabolism slows as you age, so I probably don’t need that much to begin with. Is it true that your stomach can really shrink? I find that hard to believe. I know of only one body part that can grow and shrink. Regardless, it is what it is.

Keep in mind, I’ve been eating and drinking anything I please. So that part isn’t different from the Fat and Happy Plan. The difference is that I’m eating and living consciously, aware of how much I stuff in, and able to reject bad choices when I really don’t need it. When I was living unconsciously, I didn’t know, it just went in.

This plan is easy for me. I have my notepad with me most of the time. I’m seeking new opportunities to do activities. Today, I needed to go to the bank. I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and walk my buddy Vern. Guessing, this is certainly a longer route than our standard two miler, but I’m feeling up to it and the worst case is I call my neighbor to pick us up if I’m feeling fatigued.

After I walk Vern to the bank and we go through the drive thru (didn’t think the bank would appreciate Vern in their nice lobby), Vern starts panting and dogging it a bit. On the way back home, he stops in the shade to lay down and rest at least 8 times. After some quick coaxing he’s back up and walking with his tongue hanging out looking longer than ever. I’m feeling good, I feel like this is nothing for me, even though I’m sweating just a tad. It’s that feeling like you had when you were a kid running around with your friends like you could go forever. No pain, just moving. I’m hitting my stride. I feel like I’m kicking Vern’s butt on this jaunt. Vern is a little dog, a Cairn Terrier, so I don’t think he’s in the working dog group as listed by the American Kennel Club. But, I’m feeling like he should be able to walk a distance without passing out. Perhaps I need a new neighbor dog to walk.

Day 17

199!
5 cups of coffee
4 glasses of water
1” cube of pound cake (free sample at Starbuck’s)
1 mixed berry Yoplait yogurt
3 handfuls of sunflower seeds
1 Swanson frozen macaroni n’ cheese
1/3 pint of blueberries
1 turkey sandwich on wheat with mayo
1 glass of milk
4 Coors light beers
1 ½ pieces of fried chicken strips

25 pushups
3 mile walk with Vern
Football*
Wiffle-Ball**

* just running routes and goofing around in the street. I did sweat however.

** you’d be amazed at how you can sweat doing this, I’m counting it.

Day 16 - Back to Life

2006-08-22T09:46:00.000-05:00

My first full day back from vacation. Still feeling tired. Committed to the program, I forge ahead. Since we don’t have a bunch of food in the house, I scrounge around.

Later that day we get a call from my wife’s cousin. He asks us to go sailing for an hour or so with the kids. Having not done this before, I see it as an opportunity to introduce myself and the kids to something new. After it was over, I realize that it was worthy of an activity, it needed to be logged.

If you didn’t know this previously, the reason people ask you to go sailing with them isn’t because they like your company, it’s because it’s a bunch of work. It requires more than themselves to manage the process, and you’re it. They boss you around, ask you to pull on a bunch of rope, fold sails, make sure you keep it going in a certain direction, and duck when the boom swings over. There are parts of it that are relaxing, when everything is finally setup and you’re actually sailing. The rest of it is just plain old work. It’s like cooking for 20 people over an open campfire, not exactly easy to do or straightforward. It made me appreciate motors. Day 16, below deck:

Day 16

199!
5 cups of coffee
2 egg omelet with cheddar cheese
1000mg Vitamin C tablets
5 glasses of water
5 spoonfuls of macaroni n’ cheese
3 cherries
10 olives
4 beers
5 chips and artichoke dip
1 cheeseburger with fried onions
4 handfuls of sunflower seeds

20 sit ups
25 pushups
2 mile walk with Vern
2 hours of sailing

Day 15 - Halfway Home

2006-08-21T21:58:00.000-05:00

The day finds me tired from vacation and having to pack up all of my families belongings to go home before 9am. I’m feeling bloated from the previous two nights big steak dinners, and heavy consumption. I don’t feel any lighter or better in shape, but I get two compliments on my arrival back home that “I look thinner.” I think this is all a crock, but I’ll use this as extra motivation to continue on the program for the full 30 days. After all, I’m halfway home. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything in a row for 15 straight days. This in itself is an accomplishment.

Thankfully after the drive home, my neighbors received us with a pizza party. Unfortunately, I was inspired to have more “empty calories.” If those are really bad for a diet, then I guess we’ll find out how bad they are when I weigh myself at the end of the program. I’m guessing that it’s all a myth, but we’ll see. Milestone Day 15 is as follows:

Day 15

199!
4 cups of coffee
2 glasses of water
3 egg omelet with Canadian bacon, onions, covered with hollandaise sauce
1 piece of English muffin toast with butter
1 large hash browns
3 handfuls of sunflower seeds
1 string cheese
5 beers
2 pieces of pizza
2 mozzarella sticks dipped in red sauce
1 handful of honey glazed peanuts

25 pushups

Day 10 thru Day 14 - The Grind

2006-08-21T14:54:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, having no internet connection up in the north woods of Wisconsin has left me with a bunch of catching up to do regarding my posts to this blog. To wit, I’ve consolidated a bunch of the daily logs. This truly has been a bit of a grind, not only has the initial excitement wore off but I have to continue to do the plan over vacation. However, if I can accomplish the goals set forth in the plan and be successful with a 7 day vacation thrown in the middle, that would be saying something. Then I’d be left to imagine how much more effective this plan would be if it didn’t include 7 days of relaxation.

On any vacation, there’s many activities outside of the normal daily ritual. There’s certainly no shortage of things to do, but I’ve logged only the more abnormal items here. I could include, walking up and down a big honking hill 10 times a day to my cabin and the lake, pulling kids in an inner tube all day around the lake, but I won’t. Despite the fact that this plan is more activity based than exercise based. It’s about getting your body moving, doing something other than nothing, sitting around or whatever. I originally thought that I’d have to go walking every day or something, but the days are all jam packed with activities. It’s been easier than I thought. The rest of vacation logs are as follows:

Day 10

199!
3 cups of coffee
3 glasses of water
1000 mg Vitamin C tablets
2 ½ pieces of English muffin toast with butter
7 baby carrots
1 grilled grouper sandwich
1 small potato salad
1 pickle
1 mint
2 walleye fingers (like fish sticks)
3 fried cheese curds
5 crackers and beef dip
wine
cocktails

20 pushups
horseback riding

Day 11

199!
1 cup of coffee
5 glasses of water
3 hard boiled eggs
1 blueberry nutri-grain bar
1000mg Vitamin C tablets
2 pickles
1 cheeseburger
1 Italian sausage
6 black olives
1 slice of beef summer sausage
7 Ritz crackers
beers
cocktails

golf (riding in a cart)
1 hour of wiffle ball

Day 12

199!
1000mg Vitamin C tablets
4 cups of coffee
2 glasses of water
scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese and leftover Italian sausage
cheesy potatoes
1 blueberry pancake
6 cashews
2 slices of cheese and sausage
3 pieces of pizza
3 jalapeno poppers
beer
wine
cocktails

25 pushups
light swim

Day 13

199!
3 cups of coffee
1 glass of water
1 hard boiled egg
1 slice of pizza
2 slices of apple
5 slices of cheese and crackers
1 snack size bag of sour cream and onion potato chips
2 slices of grilled beef tenderloin with grilled onions and mushrooms
1 baked potato
1 bowl of Caesar salad
beer
wine
cocktails

20 pushups

Day 14

199!
7 cups of coffee
3 glasses of water
2 soft boiled eggs
6 pieces of bacon
1 English muffin toast
3 slices of cheese and crackers
2 slices of grilled beef tenderloin with blue cheese, garlic, and sautéed onions
1 serving of diced potatoes
1 piece of garlic bread
1 bowl of Caesar salad
wine
cocktails

25 pushups
light swim

Day 9 - Cheese Please

2006-08-21T14:11:00.000-05:00

These are the dog days. I need to get through this vacation and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Doing the plan isn’t hard each day, but I wish I was closer. I’ll continue to grind it out. Self-discipline, incremental improvement, and weight loss as a result, is the goal.

Being on vacation sometimes isn’t restful. Getting the boat from the rental place, going into town to run errands, inner tubes, bait, food, water, ice, etc. etc. This isn’t a part of the normal routine, but it’s good, keeps you moving. And, apparently I like cheese. Day 9 below:

Day 9

199!
2 cups of coffee
3 glasses of water
1 serving hash browns with American cheese
1 sausage
2 soft boiled eggs
½ wheat toast with butter
1 scrambled egg with cheddar cheese
½ braeburn apple
1000 mg Vitamin C tablets
2 handfuls of sunflower seeds
cocktails
beers
1 beef sandwich with American cheese
2 roasted corn on the cobs
1 helping of cheesy potatoes
1 slice of watermelon
a few potato chips

20 pushups
a light swim in the lake (about 5-8 minutes)

Day 8 - Empty Calories?

2006-08-21T14:06:00.000-05:00

It was a tough day to get everything in because of the travel schedule. This plan is so easy that even on days like this, I can accomplish my goal. Feeling a wee bit bloated from the other night. Doesn’t feel like I’m making progress, but I am, simply because I’m doing a little bit each day towards a goal.

It’s pretty apparent that I like to imbibe. Everyone tells me that it’s no good for a diet, “those are empty calories” they say, whatever that means. Being that the next several days are over a vacation with family and friends, I’m going to go easy on myself. For the duration of the trip, I’m no longer going to count off each of the spirits I consume, but rather be more generic about the quantities. Vacation is a time to relax. There should be no guilt on this plan, and that’s that.

The Day 8 also finds me very active with the packing/unpacking, but I’m not going to count that. There’s plenty of other types of activities to do in the north woods. The Day 8 log is as follows:

Day 8

199!
4 cups of coffee
5 glasses of water
several handfuls of sunflower seeds
1 6” turkey sub on wheat from Subway
beers
cocktails
wine with dinner
1½ jamaican jerk grilled pork chops
½ baked potato with cheese and sour cream
1 handful of potato chips

road a hydro-bike*

* this is a bike that sits on top of two pontoons in the water. When you pedal a propeller rotates in the back and pushes you along.

Day 7 - Roll Call

2006-08-21T14:00:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s the day before I leave for vacation and it’s pretty hard to focus on me. I’ve got things to pack, people to see, loose ends to tie up, etc. It’s not that easy being me right now. Regardless, I’m committed to this plan and the work it takes. I spent the evening at a going away party for a young man that committed himself to the military. If it took me being there all night to show support for what he was embarking on, I would of been there ‘til the sun came up. He’s got a bigger satchel than most of the old men at your local athletic club. Yeah, if you were on a normal diet program, you would call this a cheatin’ day, but not me. It is, what it is. Here’s to you Jimmy, and here’s my day :

Day 7

199!
½ pot of coffee
4 glasses of water
1 Thai style crab cake
1 cucumber grilled shrimp salad
5 Altoids
1 Braeburn apple
1 Vitamin C 500mg tablet
2 Paulaner Octoberfest
1 soft beef taco
2 hard shell beef taco’s
1 Molson Canadian
5 tap beers
1 vodka martini
1 italian sausage sandwich
6 blueberries
2 italian cookies
6 bread/rolls*

2 mile walk with Vern
20 pushups
20 sit-ups

* It was a feast of feasts. I call them Daigo donuts. Extra bread rolls hanging around during a card game that come from a local Italian bakery...mmmmm...

Day 6 - Macho Camacho

2006-08-11T10:08:00.000-05:00

At one point today I had more on my activity list than I did my mouth intake list. My back held up well. That’s never happened before. I was feeling good all day, and progressively felt like I could do more as the day wore on. Well except when I woke up....poop tea isn’t in the cards for me. It might work for some people, but not me. Too bad, it’s the only tea that really tasted good to me. Turns out the person that gave it to me has some Constantinople issues, if you know what I mean. So I’m sure the tea helps in that regard. Good to know beforehand I suppose.

Day 6 didn’t feel like a dog day, it felt like a strong day, wasn’t hungry and wasn’t trying to avoid food. The day wore on and I was too busy to notice. When I had a chance to eat, I kept it light and felt pleasantly full afterwards. Amazing. This despite the fact that I played cards until the wee hours. Usually, that’s a booze and food fest. I think I kept it under control, without any remorse or guilt. Almost like the days of the fat and happy plan. Sure, I had my fill, but since it was a good day, none of that phased me. You can still do anything you want on this plan, but your daily log and review puts you in control. This makes me feel good about going on vacation for a week right smack dab in the middle of this 30 day effort.

This isn’t about weight day to day. I probably gained weight after the days events because of all the beer I consumed. If I weighed myself every day for 30 days it would go up and down the entire time. On the down days I would feel great, on the up days I would feel pathetic. All of those feelings are misguided. Airplanes are off course 99% of the time but they always reach the right destination. An airplanes computer system is constantly checking and correcting it’s behavior but the pilot really never feels it. It’s probably too much to deal with. He’s in control of the bigger goal. This is about weighing yourself before you board the plane, and weighing yourself when you land only. Don’t deal with the day to day weigh-ins, they can't tell you where you are headed at any point in time. The feelings you get are misguided and it’s not worth it.

Day 6

199!
¾ pot of coffee
3 glasses of water
1 Vitamin C tablet
1 hard boiled egg
1 bowl of chicken salad
3 Altoids
1 banana
1 peanut butter stuffed Keebler cookie
1 apple/cinnamon Nutri-grain bar
1 braeburn apple
1 dozen pretzels
Several handfuls of sunflower seeds (the kind where you spit out shells)
3 string cheese
4 Coors beers
1 Miller Lite beer
2 Guinness beers
2 Molson Canadian beers
(sidenote: all beer was consumed over an 8 hour interval)

20 pushups
10 leg lifts
3 reps of holding my legs out at 15 seconds each
cut neighbors lawn*
walked Vern (2 miles)
biked 2 miles (7 minutes 44 seconds)**

* I’m cutting his when he’s gone on vacation, and he’ll return the favor next week when I’m on vacation.

** while the boys were sitting outside in the hood, a gentle challenge was issued to complete the Vern 2 mile dog walking track on a bike, in 10 minutes or less. Bang! I may end up paying for this. Too strenuous.

Day 5 - The Morning After

2006-08-09T21:46:00.000-05:00

Well the day didn’t start out too hot, as I woke up at 6 am with cramps in the lower abdomen. The only trouble is I don’t know whether to blame the poop tea or the Schlitz beer. The neighbor that gave me a sample of the poop tea, swore by it’s effective and comfortable cleansing ability. Perhaps it just doesn’t agree with me, or perhaps it’s all about piling a Schlitz beer on top of four Guinness’s, or some combination of both. Regardless, I don’t give up that easy, and I have one sample poop tea bag left. I’m gonna give it another shot, as the promise of a morning ritual that includes a comfortable cleansing sounds too good to pass up. Plus, the tea actually tasted really good.

On the muscular and skeletal side of things, if my gooness wasn’t motivation enough, I hurt my back this morning bending over to kiss my kids goodbye. Granted, I’ve been struggling with a back problem on and off for a decade, but it flares up from time to time when it doesn’t agree with a certain move I put on it. This could include putting on a sandal, sock, or shoe, dancing funny, walking down the stairs and missing a step, throwing awkward, jogging, playing golf in a riding cart and getting out of a car. I’ve seen a chiropractor for this and he’s really got only one thing to say to me...”you have to lose your gut and get in shape.” Well, I’ve tried a few times and it just doesn’t stick, that’s why I gave it up. But, all things considered, this is a good reminder that I need to succeed on this 30 day plan.

Today, I think I made good eating choices. However, it’s 8:40 at night and I’m starving. I haven’t felt really hungry on this plan yet until now. Hopefully, the poop tea will help me out here. Eating lunch and dinner today, I felt full even though I didn’t eat that much. Almost like my stomach capacity isn’t what it used to be. I find it hard to believe since it’s only day 5.

It’s important to note that this plan isn’t about fasting either, it’s about making better choices. Choices based on the fact that your daily log has shown you how pathetic you are, you want to change, you need to change, and now you have a framework for living that change and sticking to it, thereby disciplining yourself. Coach John Wooden said something like, “discipline yourself and others won’t have to.” Well that’s exactly what this is about. Slowly, daily, small incremental improvement, until it becomes habit forming and you can’t stop yourself. Just like brushing your teeth, you have to do it, you can’t not do it at least once a day. As you start to accumulate these small daily wins, your outlook will change from hopeless to hopeful. Some people seem born disciplined, and guys like me just don’t get it. I’m curious if self-discipline can be learned. After day 5, I certainly feel less pathetic, despite my morning cramping and my bad back. Day 5 log is as follows:

Day 5

199!
1 venti (large) coffee from Starbucks
1 cup of coffee from work (yuk)
6 20oz bottles of water (taking some advice to heart I guess)
1 6-8” hot roast beef sub with melted provolone cheese and gardinara
1 small Solo cup of au jus on the side
6 sprigs of cooked broccoli
3 slices of pork tenderloin
1 small serving of buttered noodles drizzled with Romano cheese (stolen from kids)
1 cup of poop tea
16 pushups
16 leg lifts
cut and raked lawn*

*cutting the lawn is a regular activity but raking isn’t. I lowered the deck a notch and raked up all the excess. Not because I needed something to do, but it was a good excuse nonetheless.

Day 4 - A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

2006-08-09T11:18:00.000-05:00

I think I’ve been able to tame my grazing eating habits again today by just a tad. No real hunger pains to report either. In addition, I’ve rallied some support from the neighborhood. I think this plan needs a new rule. I believe as you live through this, you need support. So the new rule is, you need to tell as many people about what you’re doing as possible. I told them my weight when I started, the plan I’m on, everything.

People love to help people. Even if it is to simply give them an opinion. You’re pathetic just like me, which is why you’re reading this. You have no self-discipline in your life, and you know nothing about getting in shape or good eating habits. You’ve been living by common sense, but you need more to lose weight and get in shape. You need a support group around you that can lend you some pointers. For instance, today I’ve got the following help (paraphrasing);

“You should really be drinking six to eight glasses of water a day.”

“Your body takes on toxins and you need to get rid of them, here have some tea that will help you poop in the morning, ridding your body of all that bad stuff. Then you’ll weigh less.”

“You wanna take our dog for a walk?”

In addition, as you tell more and more people, you feel a sense of obligation not to let them down. It’s not just you anymore, cheating yourself. Imagine what it would be like to see them tomorrow and have them ask you how it’s going and all you have in return is, “yeah, it’s not working out so hot....” because you couldn’t complete one of the cinchy steps that take no time at all per day. That would bite. Your support system is there to help lift you up after the initial excitement wears off. Right now, I’m still figuring this thing out so I’m still in the honeymoon phase. During the dog days (most likely Day 7 – Day 20), I’ll probably need to rely on them more and more. Just a hunch.

My exercise program has taken a turn to the upside. Not only did I notch another pushup and leg lift onto my program, but I also ended up walking the neighbors dog. I’m thinking that my measly exercise program will need to keep notching up higher, bit by bit to help me along. Nothing too strenuous, don’t want to feel pain. But if I can do it, I should at least try. The Day 4 tale of the tape is as follows:

Day 4

199!
¾ pot of coffee
1 piece of Italian bread toast with real butter
3 glasses of water
1 ham and cheese on honey wheat bread with mayo
1 Vitamin C tablet
1 handful of sunflower seeds (the kind with the shells you spit)
13 cherries (the kind with the pit. Makes for easy counting when you’re all done)
4 Guinness beers
1 Schlitz beer
4 fried in beer batter salmon strips
1 serving of french fries
1 piece of Vienna bread with real butter
2 Jugy fruits (what a waste)
1 cup of poop tea
16 pushups
16 leg lifts
40 minute walk with Vern*

*Vern is the neighbors dog

Day 3 - Hitting Home

2006-08-08T10:19:00.000-05:00

Well, I certainly don’t feel any pain from the activities I’ve been doing. Can’t say that I’m really pushing myself at this point either, but I did notch up the leg lifts a tad. The big thing for me is that because of the review of Day 1 and Day 2, I really feel pathetic. My eating patterns are known and established, it’s in my face immediately. There’s no hiding.

I made an effort on Day 3 to change that behavior. I actually resisted eating two times during the day. The first time is when I roamed over to the fridge out of habit midday, just looking for something. A light bulb went off in my head telling me, “are you really that hungry? You know you’re gonna have to write this down.” So I turned around and went back into my office. The second time in the day was when the kids were eating salami sandwiches. I’m not one to go through the effort of preparing a whole sandwich, but since I’m a grazer, throwing a couple to five salami slices down my throat in passing is nothing to me.

If my grazing tendencies aren’t apparent enough, I have my kids to remind me how pathetic my eating habits have become. After I asked the kids who’s half eaten pear was sitting on the counter and if they were done eating it my oldest replied, “you can finish it Dad.” You-can-finish-it-Dad. That’s right, I always fly over their plates when they are through eating and finish it off. Sometimes I even point at a half eaten part of their meal that I know I stand a good chance at getting and just point at it. It’s actually become sort of a game. I stand over them, point at the piece of food I’m interested in and they tell me “go ahead” or “no!” A nice awareness moment indeed.

So Day 3 was ‘awareness and try to change’ day. Partially because it’s the right thing to do, and partially because it’s a pain in the butt to remember everything I take in. I actually had a bit of a stomach ache around 4 o’clock today. I read somewhere today that if you’re feel hungry, drink a glass of ice water to fill you up. When that didn’t work, I ate a pear. Day 3 log is as follows:

Day 3

199!
5 cups of coffee
6 glasses of water
1 small bowl of cantaloupe
1 hard boiled egg
1 500mg Vitamin C tablet
1 large grilled scallop salad
1 pear
4 slices of pork tenderloin
1 helping of mash potatoes
1 helping of green beans
3 servings of gravy (over the last 3 items)
3 Molson Canadian beers
1 Miller Lite
15 pushups
15 leg lifts

Day 2 - Grazer

2006-08-07T12:12:00.000-05:00

Two days in and I’m starting to realize the error of my ways. I seem to have developed some interesting eating habits during the days of the Fat and Happy Plan. Given that I have varied taste, it seems nothing is off limits for me. In other words, if there’s something laying out, whether it be during a gathering or because my kids didn’t finish it, it’s all fair game for me. There’s really nothing that I don’t like. I'm a grazer! It’s no wonder I’ve been able to gain. When you couple my eating habits with my lack of exercise (again, as prescribed by the Fat and Happy Plan) it makes for a killer combination.

Another thing I’m realizing is that it’s a pain to keep remembering and jotting things down that go in my mouth. I unconsciously grab something and stick it in my mouth. Then it’s “Oh no, I’ve got to write this down, where’s my notebook?” This may prove to be motivation to start consciously eating and drinking. We shall see. Day 2 log is as follows:

Day 2

199!
3 glasses of water
7 strips of bacon
2 cups of blueberries
1 pot of coffee
2 Rolaids
12 cauliflower sprigs
15 large cheesy puffs
10 pretzels with pretzel dip
8 four cheese Nips
1 cherry tomato
15 cucumber slices
1 can of root beer
2 grilled eye of the round beef sandwiches
1 grilled chicken leg with bbq sauce
1 macaroon cookie
2 Altoids
15 pushups
10 leg lifts

Day 1 - Genius

2006-08-06T13:29:00.000-05:00

I’ve got it. Hours after realizing how bad my body and mind gooness has become, I’ve come up with a simple plan that will work. I’ll put the new plan in play for the next 30 days. At the end of 30 days I will lose at weight without doing much at all. The only question is how effective this plan will be, will it work as well as the Fat and Happy Plan.

For immediate release:

From the author of the Fat and Happy Plan comes, "The Diet and Exercise Plan For Stupid People That Lack Self-Control and Don’t Know Anything About Diet and Exercise.”

The plan is simple. It taps into the power of the written word, where loose ideas become concrete and coherent actions, commitments are made, and anything is possible. It also harnesses the power of the mind, it shows daily incremental improvement by just thinking about it. It’s self conditioning and sustainable. It’s also inexpensive, and incredibly easy, and takes no time to implement each day. It could be as little as five minutes a day. There are only a few rules and five steps, and two of the steps are weigh-ins. How cinchy is that? Here’s a list of the things you’ll need:

Scale – For two weigh-ins, one at the start, and one after the 30 days.
Pen and Paper – For recording what you eat and what you do.

The five steps are as follows:

Step 1: Weigh yourself.
Step 2: Do some physical activity.
Step 3: Record everything you shove into your mouth.
Step 4: Review your daily log.
Step 5: Weigh yourself.

More…..

Step 1: Weigh yourself.

I happen to be 199 lbs. The reader needs to understand that this is a result of my successful Fat and Happy Plan implementation. I've been in practice for several years., I was able to gain over 25 lbs!!! 199 lbs might not seem like a lot, but my height is only 5 foot 8 inches. I’m rounding out quite well. After the first weigh-in, lose your scale or hide it and remember where it is. You won't be needing this until the final weigh in (see Step 5).

Step 2: Do some physical activity.

Do something everyday, for 30 consecutive days, a walk around the bloc, pushups, sit-ups, tennis, jump rope, playing with the kids, whatever. Do it, and write it down in a log, whatever it is. The point isn’t what you do, just do something, get your body moving. In addition, it should be as small and minimal as possible. No hero stuff here, just as little as possible with whatever you feel comfortable with, but do it EVERY single day. If your body feels you can do more on a given, day, do more, but don't do too much to start, you'll regress and be forced to start over (see Rule 1). Remember, you should be able to accomplish the goal in only 30 days. Do this for 30 days in a row, record your progress, write about it, your feelings (physical and emotional).

Step 3: Record everything you shove into your mouth.

Do this step Record everything you eat and drink for each of the 30 days . That is, everything you put in your mouth! Everything, cigarettes, wine, water, candy, mints, EVERY single thing.

Step 4: Review your daily log.

At some point before you go to bed, re-read the log entries you made today, aloud! That’s right, out loud, sounds stupid but you’ll have to go with this, it’s only 30 days. If you feel dumb doing this, do it where nobody can hear you.

Step 5: Weigh yourself.

Marvel at the results.

A couple of other rules.

If you happen to miss a day of activity, or any of the work, which includes keeping your records, you must start over from day 1, and continue until you've been successful for 30 days in succession. That’s clearly the only way I can guarantee success.
Write down your weight from step 1 on the top of all of your daily logs. Your initial weight should be the first entry. This will provide a little extra motivation to keep doing what you’re doing for the duration of the plan, despite the fact that it may only take you five minutes a day.

That’s it! Incredible cinchy and effective. In the end I expect to lose weight, be in better shape, and condition myself to have some self discipline. We’ll see what happens. Below is my first daily log entry.

Day 1

199!
A pot of coffee
2 soft boiled eggs
2 pieces of honey wheat toast with real butter
1 hard boiled egg yoke from the kids plate
2 sausage links
5 blueberries
1 plum
11 blackberries
2 cups of water
1 500mg Vitamin C tablet
1 string cheese
4 beers (Point Light)
3 vodka drinks (with a mix of Gatorade, Red Bull, and Club Soda)
2 pieces of fried chicken
12 cheese and crackers
8 summer sausage slices
6 tortilla chips and nacho dip
1 piece of thick pepperoni pizza
1 barbeque chicken sandwich
8 Altoids
15 pushups
10 leg lifts (the kind where you’re laying on the ground and you put your hands behind your butt)
Tennis with the kids (chasing down balls mostly)

Fat And Happy!

2006-08-05T11:40:00.000-05:00

Several years ago, I embarked on a journey that would transform my life. I committed to myself that I would no longer put up with guilty feelings of consuming things that weren’t in my body’s best interest. Along with the diet, I vowed never to feel pain again from the rigors of exercise. No more waking up with aches and pains that weren’t there the previous day. It just wasn’t paying off for me, I was feeling guilty all the time for eating things my inner voice told me to avoid, feeling sore from attempting to do things my body didn’t really want me to do, and just generally a-happy.

Several years later, I’m proud to say that the Fat and Happy Plan works!!! I’m the heaviest and the most out of shape I’ve ever been in my life. In addition, I’ve been eating and drinking anything I want for years. I beg you to come up with another diet and exercise program that can claim that.

Here’s the trouble. After years of successfully implementing this plan, I’m a-happy once again. For the millions of others who have followed me on this plan, stand in front of a mirror stark naked and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I am a complete tub of goo, tired the majority of the time, lacking energy, focus, and motivation, living incongruently. The body and mind not in harmony. Could this be from over seven years of perfecting the Fat and Happy Plan?

Keep in mind, for those of you that are in shape and feeling good, are tired of all the stress and strain you put on your body, and sick of listening to that inner voice that tells you to order a feta salad instead of the gyro plate, the Fat and Happy Plan is for you. For myself however, it’s time for a change.

I’d like to be as happy with myself as I was when I invented the Fat and Happy Plan and started implementing it. But what? Diet and exercise programs suck, especially for people that don’t know anything about diet and exercise. I lack self-discipline and self-control, how am I going to change that? That seems to be important part of diet and exercise. I don’t have the tools to sustain any form of rigorous program. My mind is also a tub of goo. I’m not one to buy things off of infomercials, nor do I think they actually work. I guess its back to the drawing board.

People Are Stupid - Workaholics

2006-04-02T19:49:00.000-05:00

Last night on 60 Minutes, Leslie Stahl of CBS News reported a story entitled "Working 24/7." It was about how American work weeks of 60-80 hours are the norm. All the digital gadgetry makes working that many hours feasible, and 40 hour work weeks are long gone.

What a crock!

First of all, I personally don't know of anyone that works 60-80 hours/week on a consistent basis. Sure there are times when the demands of work require that level of effort, but those times are rare. Additionally, it usually means that a project someone is working on is on a death march, doomed to fail, but nobody wants to be the person not putting forth the same level of effort towards the end. Might look bad on their performance review, and their 0-2% raise at years end might be in jeopardy....Oh Golly!

Second of all, people overvalue their hourly contributions. I've consistently have heard people at the office exclaim their 50+ hour work week when asked (chest out and chin up). These are the people who say they worked a 12 hour day when they go on a business trip that requires them to wake up at 6:00 a.m. and check in to their hotel at their destination at 6:00 p.m. Geez, what a busy day talking on your cell phone in between flights. Don't knock yourself out on that all that scotch you're gonna put down in the lobby bar that night. The truth is, that people aren't really working at all. They might be away from home, but working? It's always a stretch. Even in the office. If you took the amount of time that these people are away from home and subtracted idol hallway conversations, superfluous meetings, coffee clutch breaks and lunch, you're probably back down in the 10-30 hour per week range. I'd like the 60 minutes cameras to follow me around my company for a week. That would reveal the antithesis of this story.

Lastly, it doesn't matter. If the work put in really is in the 60-80 hour per week range, and the individual is really only getting 10 hours of work done in that same timeframe, who's the idiot? When you're on your death bed pissing and moaning about how you wish you would of spent more time with your family or did all those things you never got to do, you won't want me in the room laughing at you.

From the episode...

"With so many Americans working more than 40 hours a week, it may surprise you to learn that when it comes to productivity, the U.S. is not No. 1. In fact, workers in four European countries, including France, are more productive per hour of work than Americans Â thatÂs the key: "per hour of work" Â even though the Europeans work less and take more vacation."

Is your chest out and chin up still knowing that the people of France are more productive than your stupid butt? Way to go Dr., nice BlackBerry and ear bud walking through the airport, that'll get it done.

The real issue of course is productivity and efficiency! Stop lying to yourself about the hours you put in each week. You impress me as a stupid person the second I hear it, and convey you suck at getting your job done.

Workaholics = lying unproductive stupid people.

Done.

People Are Stupid - Bathroom Behavior

2006-03-31T07:24:00.000-06:00

I know bathroom etiquette has been bantered about for many years and has taken many forms, however, I feel the need to write about it after recently been violated by a perpetrator with brown shoes. This is ridiculous!

OK, I walk into a five person stall setup. The only occupant has correctly taken the far stall on the right. Technically he could of taken the one on the far left as well but because of where the door is, after you walk in and turn, the far stall on the right is the first stall you see. Well done Mr. Black Shoes (and belt with a rather large buckle).

As soon as I saw feet, I scanned left. Everything else completely wide open. Lovely. So, I correctly assume the position on the far left side. The three stall gap in between was plenty of room to let your mind wander and pretend your on your own throne. A relaxing attempt indeed.

But wait! The bathroom door swings open. Footsteps heading in my direction? Huh? Boom! Mr. Brown Shoes plants his fat butt right next to me. WHO DOES THIS?!!!

Again, a five stall setup. Mr. Black Shoes on the far right and I on the far left. Three stalls in between. The middle stall is the correct stall. THE MIDDLE STALL.

Extremely agitated, my senses heightened (definitely not the best thing to happen when Mr. I Just Drank a Full Pot of Coffee After A Big Night Out And Was Holding Back In A Meeting for Two Hours drops by to relieve himself), I wake up out of my relaxing attempt, finish up as quickly as possible, and go.

I just don't understand these people....who are they....what are they thinking? Maybe a sign would help....but what would it say? Doubtful these types can read anyway.

This blog stuff is like therapy.

Blow Update

2006-03-30T09:31:00.000-06:00

Here's a new data point.

After hoops on Wednesday's we usually head to the bar. I brought the trusty AlcAlert along this time. Five of us drank at least 2+ pitchers a piece (I'm trying to be conservative). These are the cheapy plastic Miller Lite pitchers filled with Lite beer. We also kept eating pizza the entire night as well.

When we got in the car and blew, I was at .05. Everyone said, "that thing doesn't work, that's way off." I blew again and it was the same. Everyone else blew as well. The range for the car was .03 to .07 and the driver blew a .06. Everyone was legal to drive at that point.

So....I guess don't underestimate the power of eating food while drinking? You might need that backstop to stay in control.

Driving Under the Influence - Legally

2006-03-29T09:14:00.000-06:00

So...a friend of mine just had his life turned upside-down by two back to back DUI's recently. They were all under suspect circumstances, meaning he didn't crash his car, hurt someone, hop the curb etc. Both were related to some other moving violation, then when asked, he fessed up. Given the fact that these days it's better to rob a bank than to suffer the humiliation and punishment related to two DUI's, I thought I'd take a cue from him and buy a breathalyzer.

I drink and drive occasionally, and so do you. It's time to manage this better, not only to avoid the rath of the law, but for all those other good reasons Mother's Against Drunk Driving espouse so well.

Off to Alcohol Controls and their AlcAlert. The cost of the breathalyzer was 39.95 plus 7.00 for shipping. Not too bad considering what kind of damage this could prevent to yourself and others. I received my breathalyzer in two days and immediately began putting it to the test. I immediately embarked on a few test cases, and here's what I found.

Blow 1

As soon as I unwrapped the package and glanced at the instructions I started drinking. One of the recommendations is that you wait 20-30 minutes before you blow for a more accurate reading. The reason for this is that, if you take a big gulp, it'll pick up the alcohol residing in your mouth and the reading will be incorrectly higher. Of course, I tested this and it's true. But in the end, the more I drank, the higher it went, and I was satisfied with my purchase.

Blow 2

One day after work, met up with some colleagues and enjoyed two large (don't know exactly the oz.'s) Truman Pilsner's. We also had some appetizers as well...later I scarfed down a brat. Time to go home...weeeeeee.... I get in the car and blow... .04! Cool, easily within the limit. On the way home, I blow, and blow and blow. .04, .06, .05, .06.. uh oh....am I creeping up? The way you hold the breathalyzer, how hard you blow, and the angle of the dangle all seem to impact the reading slightly. But I know I'm in a range. I blow again, .05 and again, .05 ....yeah! Come and get me Cop'er! Whooh! I drive home with confidence, legally under the influence at .05, thank you AlcAlert!

Blow 3

I meet up with my DUI friend for a couple, he just got sentenced on his first DUI and needs to deliberate. I imbibe two large Weiss beers. Two seems to put me in a good place without going over, so I stop at two. This time, no food. Time to go and blow... .09! ? That can't be! Maybe I didn't wait the necessary 20 minutes. I try again... .09! Hmmm... I wait a minute. .08...there we go. Right on the line. I'm sure if I start taking off it'll calm down. Eh, why did I buy this thing again? Fine, I'll wait it out. .08, .09, .10, .09, .10. Finally, after an hour and a half, which seemed like a lifetime, I was back in business. I drive home with confidence after several blows of .06. Shooooooooooooooo.....

Conclusions

So, every situation is different and what you eat while you drink matters. If you haven't bought one yet, you should consider it. Although the readings bounce around from time to time, when you take the norm, it gives you a good read on where you are. I was surprised to find out that it really doesn't take much to put you in the red. .08 is nothing, but it's also illegal. It's important to know if you're riding the curve up, or if you're on the way down. I always test multiple times to make sure. If you don't want to spend the $40+, put it on your list, they make great stocking stuffers.

Cheers and safe travels.

Hello World?

2006-03-27T13:26:00.000-06:00

So, I hear this blogging thing is pretty popular with the kids. Apparently it also has some legs with others as well. Well, here I go...I guess.

I'm less than enthusiastic about the process of doing this. I mean who really cares about the chronicles of Joe B ? Who am I to have such interesting stories? Why would anyone come and visit this nonense? The answer is, I have no idea, nor do I care. In the end, this is all just another avenue of expression. And since everyone should have the ability to express themselves anyway they please, well why shouldn't I?

I have no idea where this will go. I have no plans other than to post my random musings. Although now that I think of it, there may be some topics along these lines:

- People are stupid
- Everyone loves soup
- Trading and Investing matters
- The software industry is a joke

eh...whatever. For now, I'm here. Time will tell if this is worthwhile exercise or not.

More to come....