Day 21 - Older Bitches Rule

I test drove Bailey today. Man, what a difference. The old girl knows how to walk. By my side the entire time. A foot or more of slack in the leash. Never getting hung up in my steps. If she were the slightest bit ahead of me, the most gentle tug on the leash would rein her back in. No crapping, no smelling, no eating poop, bugs, grasshoppers, dried up worms on the sidewalk. It was like the first time I drove in a Cadillac as a kid. I knew I was in something special, the suspension made you feel like you were floating down the road. No hard bumps, no worries. Just smooth sailing. She had a lot in the tank, she could easily go longer than the two mile track. She could of easily outpaced me, but had a controlled regal trot. What a great walking dog. Apparently, there is something to this dog training thing after all.

I’m not going to rip on Vern too much. He still is less than two years old, and he just got his sack cut off. He’s just not much of a walker is all. I’ll swap days between Vern and Bailey now. I’ll use Vern on my light days, and Bailey when I want to stretch it out. Vern was looking at me funny today as I walked past him with Bailey. “Why you cheatin’ on me like that?” I’ll talk with him later.

Not a huge food day. Just wasn’t hungry all day, so I didn’t eat much. Nothing else to it. Could be a case of the snickerdoodle the night before, who knows? Then the party started. Later in the day I was at a great party, lots of wine, tons of good heavy food, lasagna, stuffed shells, chicken, garlic bread, antipasto salads. Time to put the feed bag on. Since I wasn’t interested in my usual grazing ritual, I saved myself for the main meal. No heavy stomach feeling or any discomfort afterwards. Maybe I’m figuring this out.

Update from the Poop Lady, the one who fed me poop tea. She was surprised to learn that the poop tea caused me so much discomfort. She thinks she may have steered me wrong. She told me to steep the tea bag for at least ten minutes to get a better effect. However, the instructions on the package state that you should really ease into it, starting with three minutes, then moving up to five minutes etc. Perhaps another trial run with poop tea is in order, steeping it for only three minutes. We shall see.

Day 21

• 199!
• 2 cups of coffee
• 4 glasses of water
• 1 glass of milk
• 1000mg of Vitamin C
• 2 pieces of sour apple Trident gum
• 1 cube of extra sharp cheddar (store sampler, tee hee)
• 1 slice of Monterey jack cheese (tee hee)
• 1 brat with onions and mustard
• 1 Molson Canadian beer
• 4 ½ glasses of red wine
• 1 whiskey manhattan
• 1 piece and 1 bite of garlic bread
• 2 stuffed shells (smothered in red sauce and grated cheese)
• 1 serving of antipasto salad
• 1 square of lasagna (smothered in red sauce and grated cheese)
  

• 25 pushups
• 25 sit-ups
• 2 mile walk with Bailey