People Are Stupid - Bathroom Behavior

I know bathroom etiquette has been bantered about for many years and has taken many forms, however, I feel the need to write about it after recently been violated by a perpetrator with brown shoes. This is ridiculous!

OK, I walk into a five person stall setup. The only occupant has correctly taken the far stall on the right. Technically he could of taken the one on the far left as well but because of where the door is, after you walk in and turn, the far stall on the right is the first stall you see. Well done Mr. Black Shoes (and belt with a rather large buckle).

As soon as I saw feet, I scanned left. Everything else completely wide open. Lovely. So, I correctly assume the position on the far left side. The three stall gap in between was plenty of room to let your mind wander and pretend your on your own throne. A relaxing attempt indeed.

But wait! The bathroom door swings open. Footsteps heading in my direction? Huh? Boom! Mr. Brown Shoes plants his fat butt right next to me. WHO DOES THIS?!!!

Again, a five stall setup. Mr. Black Shoes on the far right and I on the far left. Three stalls in between. The middle stall is the correct stall. THE MIDDLE STALL.

Extremely agitated, my senses heightened (definitely not the best thing to happen when Mr. I Just Drank a Full Pot of Coffee After A Big Night Out And Was Holding Back In A Meeting for Two Hours drops by to relieve himself), I wake up out of my relaxing attempt, finish up as quickly as possible, and go.

I just don't understand these people....who are they....what are they thinking? Maybe a sign would help....but what would it say? Doubtful these types can read anyway.

This blog stuff is like therapy.

Blow Update

Here's a new data point.

After hoops on Wednesday's we usually head to the bar. I brought the trusty AlcAlert along this time. Five of us drank at least 2+ pitchers a piece (I'm trying to be conservative). These are the cheapy plastic Miller Lite pitchers filled with Lite beer. We also kept eating pizza the entire night as well.

When we got in the car and blew, I was at .05. Everyone said, "that thing doesn't work, that's way off." I blew again and it was the same. Everyone else blew as well. The range for the car was .03 to .07 and the driver blew a .06. Everyone was legal to drive at that point.

So....I guess don't underestimate the power of eating food while drinking? You might need that backstop to stay in control.

Driving Under the Influence - Legally

So...a friend of mine just had his life turned upside-down by two back to back DUI's recently. They were all under suspect circumstances, meaning he didn't crash his car, hurt someone, hop the curb etc. Both were related to some other moving violation, then when asked, he fessed up. Given the fact that these days it's better to rob a bank than to suffer the humiliation and punishment related to two DUI's, I thought I'd take a cue from him and buy a breathalyzer.

I drink and drive occasionally, and so do you. It's time to manage this better, not only to avoid the rath of the law, but for all those other good reasons Mother's Against Drunk Driving espouse so well.

Off to Alcohol Controls and their AlcAlert. The cost of the breathalyzer was 39.95 plus 7.00 for shipping. Not too bad considering what kind of damage this could prevent to yourself and others. I received my breathalyzer in two days and immediately began putting it to the test. I immediately embarked on a few test cases, and here's what I found.

Blow 1

As soon as I unwrapped the package and glanced at the instructions I started drinking. One of the recommendations is that you wait 20-30 minutes before you blow for a more accurate reading. The reason for this is that, if you take a big gulp, it'll pick up the alcohol residing in your mouth and the reading will be incorrectly higher. Of course, I tested this and it's true. But in the end, the more I drank, the higher it went, and I was satisfied with my purchase.

Blow 2

One day after work, met up with some colleagues and enjoyed two large (don't know exactly the oz.'s) Truman Pilsner's. We also had some appetizers as well...later I scarfed down a brat. Time to go home...weeeeeee.... I get in the car and blow... .04! Cool, easily within the limit. On the way home, I blow, and blow and blow. .04, .06, .05, .06.. uh oh....am I creeping up? The way you hold the breathalyzer, how hard you blow, and the angle of the dangle all seem to impact the reading slightly. But I know I'm in a range. I blow again, .05 and again, .05 ....yeah! Come and get me Cop'er! Whooh! I drive home with confidence, legally under the influence at .05, thank you AlcAlert!

Blow 3

I meet up with my DUI friend for a couple, he just got sentenced on his first DUI and needs to deliberate. I imbibe two large Weiss beers. Two seems to put me in a good place without going over, so I stop at two. This time, no food. Time to go and blow... .09! ? That can't be! Maybe I didn't wait the necessary 20 minutes. I try again... .09! Hmmm... I wait a minute. .08...there we go. Right on the line. I'm sure if I start taking off it'll calm down. Eh, why did I buy this thing again? Fine, I'll wait it out. .08, .09, .10, .09, .10. Finally, after an hour and a half, which seemed like a lifetime, I was back in business. I drive home with confidence after several blows of .06. Shooooooooooooooo.....

Conclusions

So, every situation is different and what you eat while you drink matters. If you haven't bought one yet, you should consider it. Although the readings bounce around from time to time, when you take the norm, it gives you a good read on where you are. I was surprised to find out that it really doesn't take much to put you in the red. .08 is nothing, but it's also illegal. It's important to know if you're riding the curve up, or if you're on the way down. I always test multiple times to make sure. If you don't want to spend the $40+, put it on your list, they make great stocking stuffers.

Cheers and safe travels.

Hello World?

So, I hear this blogging thing is pretty popular with the kids. Apparently it also has some legs with others as well. Well, here I go...I guess.

I'm less than enthusiastic about the process of doing this. I mean who really cares about the chronicles of Joe B ? Who am I to have such interesting stories? Why would anyone come and visit this nonense? The answer is, I have no idea, nor do I care. In the end, this is all just another avenue of expression. And since everyone should have the ability to express themselves anyway they please, well why shouldn't I?

I have no idea where this will go. I have no plans other than to post my random musings. Although now that I think of it, there may be some topics along these lines:

- People are stupid
- Everyone loves soup
- Trading and Investing matters
- The software industry is a joke

eh...whatever. For now, I'm here. Time will tell if this is worthwhile exercise or not.

More to come....